omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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