My pussy is not your playground.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
