The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think my mom watched the whole time
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
