I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
