i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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