I just threw up on my dentist
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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