How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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