They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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