sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
