508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
