in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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