I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
