I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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