He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
