new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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