I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
