Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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