real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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