I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
