All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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