It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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