He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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