Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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