she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
