So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
