If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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