the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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