you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
