i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
