idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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