At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
dude. I can hear the air.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
