it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
