The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
