i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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