Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize