I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
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Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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