I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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