totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
