yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
