Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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