I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my being single is dangerous.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
