Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
