Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you win again, gameday.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
