How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
