Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She's the barista slut.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
