mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
