Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
