my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize