you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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