My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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