STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
