sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
