i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
