We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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