i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
