Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ugly people sure do ruin things
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
