You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
