im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
